New dining room

We bought a new dining room table and chairs this weekend. It will be nice to be able to actually eat at a table like a family. The set is nice but came unassembled. Hubby brought in the boxes containing the chairs no problem but he needed help with the table.

As I struggled to push that table up the stairs and to the dining room I saw the weight on the side of the box. Gross weight: 147 lbs. That's right around how much I want to lose. Essentially I am carrying around an extra kitchen table every single day. No wonder I'm always exhausted from doing nothing. I can't imagine how much better I'll feel when it's gone. I cant imagine the gained energy from just HALF of it being gone.

For once I feel excited about the possibilities for the future! I just hope this motivation lasts!

Four days at a time

I live my life four days at a time. Hubby works for four 12 hour days and then has 4 days off. It's nice, but when he's off I have a VERY hard time staying on track.

While he's at work I'm just fine with my grilled chicken salads and cups of grapes but when he's hope I'm conditioned to eat out which I'm not ready for. Yesterday we were out running errands and the whole family was hungry. It would have been so easy to just stop and grab lunch but we finished what we had to do and came home to eat. Small victory, but I'll take it.

Only 3 more days to go!

The end of another day...

and I feel GREAT!

I know I'm just starting but I feel empowered right now. I'm making good choices that I UNDERSTAND. As much as I liked the idea behind Weight Watchers I never knew how many points something was without running to a calculator. I like the simplicity of counting calories.

I'm on my eighth glass of water right now and Ive tracked every morsel that I've put in my mouth. In terms of my little goals I'm doing great. I just hope the scale reflects that!

Everyone has a story

Everyone has a story. An ah-hah moment of how did I get this way. A passing glance in a mirror where you just don't recognize yourself anymore. I think if you're honest you admit that you probably have several of these moments before you commit to a change.

I'd like to say that this is it. This is the last time starting this journey but the truth is I know how far I have to go and when the going gets tough..well, I tend to quit and run away.

I'm scared. I'm scared that if I don't make huge changes I wont live much longer. I'm scared that my little girl won't have a mom.

It's embarrassing to live like this. I'm ashamed that I have let myself get this far. I'm hoping and praying that the inspiration I have right now will be enough to kick this.